Mom became ill in November 2021. She put off seeing a doctor for a bit, and when she did, the doctor took a wait-and-see approach. By Christmas week 2021, she was in the hospital for fluids and tests. Seven hundred miles away here in Maine, it was hard to find our holiday groove with the uncertainty of her condition. On Christmas Eve, during dinner, Dad called with grim news. I was devastated. In a moment, I felt as if my world had changed forever.

Later that evening, when I could manage my emotions better, I called Mom. We cried together and talked about the “what ifs” because we didn’t yet know enough from the doctors. Eventually, we got around to talking about Christmas – which felt hollow. Did I get the gifts she’d sent? (I had.) What were we making for dinner? (Ham and the fixings, as always.) Etc. She was particularly excited about her gift for me and suggested I open it while we were on the phone. She knew my love for wind chimes and had sent me a gorgeous, large Woodstock Heroic Windbell—such a fabulous gift.

Hannah and I were in the car headed to Pennsylvania two days after Christmas. I spent lots of time at the hospital with her each day. She wasn’t getting any better – there seemed to be little hope. During a particularly emotional conversation, I told her I would forever think of her when I heard my Windbell ring. She liked that idea and joked that I would never be free of her. And then, she proceeded to order the same Windbell for my brothers and Hannah.

Almost two weeks into January, Mom came home from the hospital. By March, I had made two more trips to Pennsylvania. She was hospitalized again in March and underwent high-risk emergency surgery. That surgery gave her almost another year with us before she passed away on March 17th.

I sit on the porch this sunny April Saturday, bundled in a blanket, admiring my Windbell. It’s a good size bell that takes a wind rather than a breeze to get some action. The intermittent deep, bold tones resonate in my heart, reminding me of Mom’s spirit.

Here’s a short video of my bell in action.